Douchey boy on train: So, you’re heading into Manhattan?
Me: Yes…?
Him: Cool, cool. If you want I could give you my number, take you on a tour?
Me: I am actually from the city, so I’m good.
Him: Nice, nice. I go to COLUMBIA.
Me: That’s great.
Him: Columbia is an Ivy League.
Me: I’m aware.
Him: So where you go to school? I bet you’re a women’s college type of gal, am I right?
Me: Nope.
Him: Aww, too bad. I wish we had girls like you at Columbia, but I guess you can’t be pretty AND smart.
Me: …
Him: …
Me: I go to Harvard.