I’ve been making dad jokes for years but my wife and I are expecting our first child and I’ve finally been making dad jokes while actually being a dad.
When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specifically made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and said, “do you think they keep these at womb temperature?” I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes.
i just saw an ad that was probably supposed to say accident lawyers but it said accidental lawyers and i can’t sotp laughing “just got my law degree aw man this wasn’t what i meant to do how am i gonna get out of this one”
i love this post because my dad literally got his law degree by accident?? he was the first person in his family to go to college and he didn’t understand how majors worked (he thought that it was just like.. if you take a lot of math classes you’re a math major and that it was just a figure of speech) so when it was time for him to declare his he realized he hadn’t actually been working towards any major in particular.
so he went through and looked at the required classes for every major offered at his college to see if the classes he had taken matched with anything, and lo and behold he found a pre-law degree. and he thought, “well ok, i guess being a lawyer doesn’t sound too bad.” and that’s how my dad became a lawyer.
I was trying to get a photo of all of my baby crested geckos on my hand and I managed to get very lucky with my timing, this is quite possibly the funniest photo I’ve ever taken.
He scream.
:V
Middle finger gecko talking all this shit in ring finger gecko ear and ring finger gecko ain’t tryna hear it.
still remember the moment in college when I realized that like a solid 30% of the pretentiousness that annoyed me in Frankenstein was because of Percy’s revisions. MARY, I WRONGED YOU.
He also preferred to be known by his full name Percy Bysshe Shelley.
As James Joyce once put it, “I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names. Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring, as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope. Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance, and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.”
They are planning to illegalize homosexual families in brazil and this is been voted right now here: !!!!
!!!AND SADLY PEOPLE AGREE WITH THAT!!
I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN VOTE THIS FROM OUT OF OUR COUNTRY, BUT IF YOU CAN, PLEASE, CLICK IN “NÃO” AND WRITE THE 3 LETTERS AND 1 NUMBER YOU SEE IN YOUR SCREEN TO SEND YOUR VOTE
IF YOU CAN’T VOTE FROM WHERE YOU ARE JUST REBLOG THIS BECAUSE PEOPLE IN BRAZIL DON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS YET
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, HELP US
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, HELP US
WE’RE ALMOST THERE GUYS AND YOU CAN VOTE FROM OUT OF BRAZIL PLS HELP
GUYS, MY GIRLFRIEND AND HER FAMILY MIGHT BE IN DANGER IF THIS IS PASSED. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE VOTE AGAINST IT! IF YOU HAVE MULTIPLE DEVICES, YOU CAN ALSO VOTE ON EACH OF THOSE TOO
theluminouscosmos 