May I ask for the sauce recipe you gave to Krissy? I really need one tbh

overachieversloth:

Well, well, well, my little ayyynon, I did very little.

When Kepler came to me with her desires of pasta, I felt I had to do something about it – and by that ask her if she had tomato paste at home and she pretty much took it from there.

But as I know a lot of my own followers are younger peeps, or folks who are on a transitioning state of living-alone-how-do? so I am gonna explain the most useful method of survival that has helped me a jackton when I lived on my on in big ol’ Tron’o.

The concept of the Emergency Pasta.

Emergency pasta is hella good because 1. it’s cheap, 2. nobody truly knows how to measure pasta, so you’ll probably have food for later that you can freeze or whatever, eat for the following week or call your twenty friends to help you eat anyway, and 3. you only need three main ingredients plus a bunch of dried leaves that last forever anyway.

All you gonna need for the sauce:

– TOMATO fucking PASTE. And I mean those tiny fucking cans man, you don’t even need to use a full one – unless well, you want to make pasta for you and your twenty friends. probably. This is the thing that I told little Kepler about and she went like “ooohhHHHHHHHH?????”. Also don’t exaggerate on the thing, tomato paste is very relentless on it’s own.

– Water. I am being serious, tomato paste can’t do the job by itself, you might wanna throw some water in there, also because tomatoes are pretty acid stuff. You won’t need to put in a lot, just enough to make it less paste, more sauce.

– Salt: that’s up to your tastes anyway.

– Some tasty dried leaves: basil, coriander, oregano…you name it bro.

Extra tasty stuff:

– Cheese: here in Brasil it’s common for them to sell the block of parmesan cheese and you send your kids to grate that crap which usually was my job when I was a kid. Alternatively you can invest on already grated cheese that comes in packets but ehn, that’s up to you. I myself love me some freaking cheese, so well, my sauces were usually half cheese at the end because I am that guy after all 😐

– Mushrooms, garlic (LOVE THE GARLIC, PRAISE THE GARLIC, PRAY FOR THE GARLIC always have some garlic it saves lives), onions…whatever you have hanging in your fridge dude! Go all out, it is emergency pasta for a reason. Just be sure to simmer that onion first and then the garlic since garlic cooks extra fast and then throw in the sauce.

– Oil, butter, olive oil – hey those are always up to you to which you’ll use, as long as you put some in the pasta pan before all the stuff otherwise it’ll be hell to clean. 

How you make the damn thing:

Okay, throw in your grease (be it butter, or oil or whatever – if you throw in butter, do throw in a peep of oil just so the butter won’t burn), if you want onions now’s the time to come in, if you want minced garlic be sure to simmer that baby first too. Throw in your tomato paste and some water – something like, a cup of water for each spoon of tomato paste but don’t quote me on that, go by instinct bro. Throw your leaves in, throw your little pinch of salt, and if you want mushrooms or whatever else you wanna put in, broccolli or whatever, now’s the time. If you want to throw in full/half garlic cloves, now is when you put it in the sace, as opposed to minced. mis that baby up, throw in your pasta by the end and freaking add cheese if you want.

And remember: