When i was little my parents used to tell me how i was raised by bears and i actually believed them for the longest time. Then my dad got me this mug last year and said, “Don’t ever forget who you are.”
why the fuck would they tell you that you were raised by bears they’re literally your parents like they raised you????
ok so here’s the full story:
one day when I was a wee lil lad like maybe 1 yr old, my mom had to go to the doctor’s office, which was located on top of a hill in the middle of a forest. while my mom was inside with the doctor, i went outside to play among the flowers. then came a wandering mama bear with her 2 cubs, and the cubs saw me and we started playing together. the mama bear decided i should come home with them, so i did! so i lived for a few years with mama and papa bear and my bear siblings, running around on all fours and generally acting like a baby bear. one time we even got into a fight with a wolf family. but we won of course.
well, my human parents were quite worried. where on earth did i disappear off to? so they started searching the forest, and someone reported seeing a human child with a family of bears. so my parents went and found my bear family, and my human dad and papa bear even got into a fight, which explains the scar on the back of my human dad’s neck. but my human parents won, and took me back home. you can take the human child from the bear family, but you can’t take the bear out of the child! so that’s the explanation for why i liked playing outdoors as a kid and i enjoyed running around the house on all fours like a bear cub and jumping on furniture.
STUPID STORY RIGHT?? Like who in their sane mind would actually believe this? but my parents told this to me continuously from when i was idk 3 yrs old until 5ish and it explained so much like the scar on my dad’s neck and why i loved animals so much and running around like a four legged wild thing. and so my toddler-brain just accepted it as truth bc at that age, everything your parents tell you is true and who was i to question my all-knowing parents.
now why did they tell me this anyway? because why the fuck not. who doesn’t like trolling their tiny partial-clones? it probably gave them such a good chuckle that i was such a gullible little shit. they tried to pull the same shenanigan with my sister when she was young and told her she was raised by monkeys. didn’t work on her though. and that’s when my parents realized i was probably just really dumb..
Tiny partial-clones. That’s the best thing I’ve ever read.
Unfortunately, being raised by bears sounds a lot cooler than being raised by monkeys. I don’t blame your sister for not buying it. They should have tried it with a cooler animal.
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theluminouscosmos 